The Demon inside Me

Love is something that can enter into anyone’s heart as easy as a cool breeze enters into a beautiful garden. But expressing it to the concerned person is where the real battle lies. The psychic torment that a person goes thro’ when he really cannot express his love can be compared to any of the worst tortures in the world. If love is something that is very natural and common (I hope everyone agrees), then why do we have to suffer so much?

This has been the problem for so many people, across so many nations, for so many years. The obituary of our love will be written even before it is born. There are so many stories about break-ups. But I’m more than sure that there will be many more stories about Love, untold.

As far as guys are concerned, I believe most of us do not have the guts to express directly what we feel for a girl, mainly because we are bad in accepting defeats. The question “What happens if she doesn’t feel anything of that sort towards me and rejects my proposal” keeps ringing in our ears. The answers to this question are not very pleasant. While most of us are worried about losing an existing relationship [Most of the time, it will be under the banner of “Friendship”], there are cases when we feel attracted towards a girl, we don’t even have the courage to start a conversation with that girl. While the former reason is pretty common, the latter one is pre-dominant among persons having some high levels of ego [Prefer calling it self-respect]. The ego-clouded person tends to think that the girl will consider him low if he speaks to her as an act of pre-emption. This scenario is very dangerous as it leads everyone to think that there is some kind of an animosity. This may lead both of them to hate each other after sometime since most of the expectations are prone to go unfulfilled. There is not much scope for this case unless the girl takes an initiative to speak to the guy [May have sounded like a joke of the century].

I believe, most of the times, we are more worried about how bad our friends will tease if they come to know about the rejection than what the girl herself thinks about us. Whether we accept it or not, we are of course concerned about our image as well. Nobody wants to feel low or treated low in front of anyone. This is also a reason why guys don’t come forward in expressing their love.

As a conclusion to this, I wouldn’t say that guys are total losers. But some part of this trauma lies at the girls’ side as well. It all depends on how matured the girl is and how well she rejects a proposal without making a fuss about it. [I’m not concerned about Success stories here]. Some of them really wish their friends know that guys are drooling behind them. The number of proposals received is taken as a measure of how beautiful she is. Just like most of the guys want to be known for their smartness, most of the girls want to be known for their beauty. But unfortunately the guy who proposes to her becomes the bait.

I would suggest that the girl understands that a guy who has proposed to her has won over a lot of demons inside him and has finally taken the bravest decision of his life. But still at that moment, he is in the most fragile and vulnerable state. While rejection in itself is a great pain, doing it in an awful fussy way just adds on to the woe. At the same time, the guys should also understand that it’s not an easy thing for a girl as well.

I read in a book about two kinds of people as far as passion is concerned. The first type suppresses the passion, analyzes it by taking all the pros and cons of it into picture and tries not to fail by not trying to succeed. But they convince themselves that they have acted in the most intelligible way and have won over their fate.

The second type where as, tries not to suppress the passion and allows them to be taken over by the spur of the moment. They are not worried about the consequences as they consider them as a part of their path. If their decision works out, then they will attribute it to everyone involved, directly or indirectly, in it and when it doesn’t, they blame it on themselves for taken such a decision. But they still do not stop themselves from being taken over by their passion again.

In reality, while the first type of people will have a safe and secured life, the second one’s life will be more adventurous. I believe, as far as love is concerned, being in the second type helps a lot. [By the way, don’t try to be very smart by bringing in a Rang De Basanthi touch to it] I agree that there is a lot of important things at stake if we decide to express our love, but I believe that there are lot more important things at stake if we just decide to stay dumb-folded. If the love we have is genuine, then I believe that it is best if we let ourselves be taken over by the passion.

Relax and Enjoy

Cheers,
Prad